Leonard Nimoy obituary: Adieu Captain Spock!

Pointy ears, upturned eyebrows, a smile that reached his eyes – Leonard Nimoy's spock is perhaps the most known and loved screen character of all times.

His death means an end of an era for so many in the world.

'Star Trek' is the benchmark of all science fiction work on-screen since its first season on TV and subsequent movies. People have grown up on it. We have cheered for Spock in his many adventures.

An era ends with Tendulkar’s last!

The match as it started on 14th November 2013, wasn’t your regular cricket Test. Wankhede has seen full occupancy on many occasions, but the fervour for tickets this time was unprecedented — perhaps even more than the World Cup final in 2011. This time it was not just a match at the stadium. Every Sachin worshipper left his and her work to watch him in action for the last time and bid him farewell.

The presentation ceremony after the India - West Indies Test was a tribute to the hero of words and actions together! One doesn`t have to be a cricket fan to be a Sachin fan! That is the master blaster’s magic! But saying great things about Sachin Tendulkar is merely repeating what everyone else is talking about.

For the people born in 1980s, Sachin is kind of a timeline reminder. People remember the years by Tendulkar’s achievements. Whether it was his debut, where despite not a very memorable performance, he was appreciated for his maturity and bravery against Pakistan’s pace attack or the famous ‘Desert Storm’ or his final knock against West Indies.

aham bramhasmi

बड़ी दुआयें दी तूने,

बंजर आसमानों पर थूक दिया, 

और खून बरसाया छाती पर। 

बड़ी प्यास बुझाई आज।।

बड़े दर्द उधेड़े तूने, 

कुछ बोटियाँ नोच ली सपनो की, 

कुछ भूख मिटाई अय्यारों की।

बड़ी आग बुझाई आज।।

बड़ी लौ जलाई तूने,

सन्नाटों में चिंघाड़कर, 

हजूम बुलाये मज़हार पर।

बड़ा मरहम लगाया आज।।

शमशीर की नोख रखी मेरे स्तन पे!
और मुस्कुराके दूजा हाथ उठाया।
मांग मेरी सिन्दूरी करी,
तन धोया मंजिष्ठ से।।

बड़ा रंग चढ़ाया आज।।

Manikarnika

My well-wishers were helping me,
To reach the so-called 'Heaven' of yours,
By bringing my deceitful mind,
And polluted body to the Manikarnika...

I had my friends with me,
Also fellow travellers,
To that unknown world
Where everything is 'holy'
and
Who knows what that might be.

But somehow I was not ready
To tread that path...

...I was waiting for the dogs
To arrive ...

- Anindita Kargupta

I didnt know she will come up with so many good poems in such a short while. I have made a label in her name. so you can keep reading her poetry if you wish to just by clicking on it. Labels are down below. Hope you like these poems and comment which may convince her to write more and possibly get published in the future.

Durga Puja in Delhi 2012

Our theme for this years Durga Puja was... Jamini Roy... and the pandal was really beautiful...
The lights, the way things were put up, the traditional touch and the modern twist... everything was right there... and the Pandal received many people from all across the city to see the novelty. It also won an award for the best pandal, from Times of India I think.

the pratima was beautiful too... but then many said it was beautiful, but doesnt provoke bhakti...

The Pratima

Ah well!!! perceptions... The pictures have come out nice

Beera ke dus maathe...

Titarpur, near Rajouri Garden

While coming to office in the last one month, the highlight of everyday has been the making of the Ravan Putla that is burnt every year to mark 'Dusshera', the festival where the goodness of ram overcomes the evil of Raavan, in the epic tale of Ramayan.

However much I dont like the character of Ram, and believe that his was the worst  of all the vishnu incarnations... or the fact that I think Raavan has more character, integrity and prowess than Ram... however as i have been told recently, there is great power in mass belief...

"Ram Bas Bhakton Nahin, Shatru Ke Bhi Chintan Mein Hain

Dekh Taj Ke Paap Raavan, Ram Tere Man Mein Hain"

Jago Durga

I found myself humming ‘Jago Durga, jaago dosho prohoronodharini’; and realized it is that time of year again. Well the Kash Phul (even the light brownish variety in Delhi) spreading across the banks of the (now full) Yamuna have been billowing the wind, and you know The Durga Puja festival is here.

So decided to post an old photograph today… this was the puja concept last year at Milani Cultural and Welfare Association Puja Pandal, Mayur Vihar Delhi.

 Incase anyone is around in Delhi, you are all most welcome to join for Food and Cultural Programs…

Gauraiya

'Gauraiya' - a baby female sparrow sitting on the bulb wire at a tea stall
near Jodhpur, Jan 2011. Image (C) Aparna Mudi

A long time ago I and Shreyas went for a play - Swanand Kirkire's award winning  'Aao Saathi Sapna Dekhen'. A musical/lyrical/comic rendition of a common love story which isn't so common. A claim a lot of stories make, but fail to do. Aao Saathi... however was different. It was simplistic, with inspirations from here and there, the songs were beautiful and however much I waited for the cliches, they came as in all romances, but they were put beautifully. Never for one moment did you feel the director has lost touch with the pace of the drama.

Which is what stands out in theater. You know it can take you on a emotional ride as the director wants you to. Its happening live. You dont need filming techniques to capture the audience. The imagination flows as it progresses. And theater has repeat value. A story once told will be told again in the same format, but each time it has the potential to be better and change within itself. And Aao Saathi... does just that. In its dark and dreamy sequences it makes the audience stay entwined with the story line, yet not losing the romantic colored stance of it.

Aao saathi was refreshing. Not very serious, but not complete mindless comedy either, the play takes on all the love stories ever heard. It is set in Delhi 6, and with its dreamy sequences of ordinary love stories to destiny taking it over to a darker shade, combined with the energy and pace of the play makes it tick. The young and extremely talented Sneha Khanwalkar has composed the music, who is making waves with her music direction in bollywood these days (especially with Gangs of Wasseypur being my recent favorite) which is set to Kirkire's fantabulous lyrics. 

Why I wrote this piece so long after I saw the play? I was sifting through my old pictures and saw this photograph of the baby sparrow - Gauraiya. Gauraiya and Baiju's story - Aao Saathi Sapna Dekhen, retains its innocence and dwells in my mind even so long after I watched it, in times when memories have become short, and nothing lasts, yet Aao Saathi... did. It only proves the genius of the story teller.

Now that the theater season is back, I shall be waiting for another show  in Delhi soon

Tilling the Earthwoman: A Chennai Wedding That MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Tilling the Earthwoman: A Chennai Wedding That MAKES A DIFFERENCE:

This is a post I have taken from Bhavna's blog and honestly it’s a story worth retelling. Full credits to her for such a beautiful blog post. Please make all your comments on her post. And hope such feelings of generosity are instilled in more of us. I only wanted to share the story so more people could read this.

I was thinking that morning—this is one wedding I want to attend, one wedding that I would cherish attending, where I would delight in giving the wedding gift.

I don’t enjoy weddings. I am not into competitive dressing, competitive jewelry showcasing, or latest gossip, or assessing if bride and groom are “match made in heaven.”

But this wedding, the wedding of Thilak and Dhana on June 1st 2012 will be different. It is a wedding that MAKES A DIFFERENCE. How?

1. The wedding reception will be a fundraiser for an education fund for underprivileged children. No box gifts allowed; only donations to the fund.

2. The children from 8 homes in Chennai have been invited to the wedding reception. They will join in the celebration equally as rest of us.

3. The bride will not wear any silk clothes or expensive ornaments and the wedding will follow a much-researched simple ritual attended by close relatives.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it? And yet so hard to actually execute! How does a bride tell her family that she does not want to get dressed up and that she wants to marry so that she can adopt? And that the groom wants to pay for the reception from his pocket—not his parents or in-laws? And that he says No to gifts? Thilak and Dhana have waited almost 2 years to convince their family to do just that!

Nope, Dhana and Thilak were not in love when they first thought of marriage. You see, both of them are uncommon, a little odd. Dhana had been avoiding marriage, for her passion was with animals and social work. Thilak had decided he would not marry for he was convinced that he could not find a companion who would share his social passion, his adventurous spirit, and his quiet spirituality. But Gods smiled at these two wonderful individuals and brought them together in a way that is so apt!

A little baby girl called Theresa played cupid in this couple’s life. Who is Theresa? She was a non-affected six-month old girl abandoned by her teenaged HIV+ve mother. She first triggered motherly love in Dhana’s heart. Then Dhana proposed to Thilak, a friend then, to marry her so that she could adopt the baby. Adoption homes try to find parents before the baby turns one year as children find it difficult to adjust to new homes as they grow up. Dhana could not convince her folks in time and Theresa was adopted by another set of loving parents. But the wedding fundraiser in June is in the name of Theresa Educational Fund commemorating the love that brought these two beautiful individuals together.

I have known Thilak for sometime now. I first ran into him in the India Against Corruption movement and thereafter discovered that Thilak had dedicated his life to the welfare of the underprivileged children. He is the co-founder of Sevai Karangal along with Nandan which monitors and supports eight Children’s homes in the city of Chennai. The organization works with a difference: They don’t just donate. Rather they ensure people engage with the homes and the children. The monthly social treks conducted by Chennai Trekking Club take Chennaiites to celebrate their birthdays at the Children’s homes or take the children out on joyful treks. For more information on social treks, please go towww.chennaitrekkers.org.

Thilak insists that what children need is attention and love more than anything else—a sense of familiarity, a joy. He raises funds for infrastructure—he had a block built at one of the homes when he noticed the rooms were cramped for the kids. He organized for water filters after he tested the water in couple of the homes. He raises funds for their school books and stationery and uniforms. He raises funds for their education. He along with other volunteers organizes Diwali events at the homes. He also supports an Old Age home. Till date he has channelized close to Rs. 7 lacs to the various homes in about 4 years.

And he monitors closely if the money is being utilized effectively, if children are being taken care of properly. I remember once I was travelling with him to a meeting, when he asked, if I would accompany him to a surprise visit at a home nearby. We bought some goodies for the kids and dropped in. Thilak later explained that these sudden visits help him gauge the real situation and also keeps the pressure on caretakers at the homes.

Besides engagement and funding, the organization has also set-up a mentorship project called Navigator, akin to the Big Brother Big Sister program in United States and workshops to improve creative skills in the children.

No, Thilak is not from any rich family. The poor guy shuffles his time between work and passion so that he can sustain himself as well as provide for his passion. Dhana is not a rich girl either. She is rich in her heart.

As these two ordinary citizens of our country take that seven steps to bind themselves in matrimony, they do more than that—they set an example for others to follow, they give meaning to the structure called marriage, they bring hope in the lives of so many children, they bring faith back to cynical hearts.

So please join me in extending blessings and heartfelt wishes to this lovely couple. You can Facebook Thilak at https://www.facebook.com/theluckraj and learn more about Sevai Karangal at www.sevaikarangal.org. If you are in Chennai, do join a social trek!

Replies - The witch Goddess

I make my own destiny,
and you, with your assumptions,
took the liberty,
set your dreams for me,
you took my smiles and pity,
and started strangling it.

If i were to break free again,
had to fly in my own open skies,
i had to break what held me,
and smiled
when i knew you would too.
someday, when you find your own skies.

You, with your assumptions,
saw my love as deep,
which was nothing but a Magic Potion.
and dived into Oceans.
You with your tears,
drowned me.

In reply to The Witch Goddess - Poem By Howdy

Spirituality

I call out to Gods,
Save me from the ‘forever’
Don’t you resurrect me,
For I am not yours to do that.

I do not ask for your reflection inside me,
Nor Thy ‘holy’ spirit’
For your promises stay fictitious.

Your clawed hands scar me,
The dark ages had it right.
They cut me open wide,
You are but a poser, the false prophet yourself.
You create and then abandon,
annihilate everything like a sadist
And then you send prophets,
Who make justifications for your faux pas….
And exalt you…

A Poem Written sometime in 2006/2007  so pardon the sentiments

Currently listening to: Dory Previn

Currently reading: Gora, Rabindranath Tagore and  Collected Short stories: Ruskin Bond

Recently watched : White Collar, Inception, The Kings Speech

The High

Students From Gurgaon ITI, Posing 

The monsoon is a beautiful time to be in Delhi. It doesn’t rain hard enough to buy boats and row across the roads; neither does it rain too scantily to make you feel that someone just turned the water supply off while showering. The skies are nice and grey, the leaves are greener, there are birds chirping and chattering away all day long, and the dust levels are down. Take your pick of what you love best about them. I, for one, love getting drenched in it, no matter how many sneezes follow a good shower. And that’s what I hate about this job (any job for that matter). Since I am setting an example for the students and neither of us can afford to fall ill, I can’t go out there and jump about. Uh! I sometimes wish I could remain a student all my life.

But rains bring other things with it that can’t be seen otherwise. It brings with it ‘mischief’, ‘friends for life’ in the trees, the chirping crickets, the dirty mud and ‘imaginary experiences’ for the kids. And it brings me ‘time’ to watch these ‘kids-who-are-up-to-no-good’.


One of the most beautiful sights I have seen in a long time was recently when I was on my way back from Madanpur Center* from the CSWC class, was a branch of a huge tree growing sideways and a bunch of kids sitting/standing on it and swinging with all their might. Some terrified of the branch breaking, some screaming as we adults would scream on a Ferris wheel, some screaming from the ground that it was their turn. As I sat in the car, stuck in a traffic jam, the honking suddenly ceased in my head. There is a magical world, not unlike the harry potter books, where all these kids are transformed onto brooms and carpets that fly. They ride on the wings of enormous birds and they become catapult pullers in mighty dragon wars. And its joyous, how these simple games, that we have forgotten in the age of computers and mobile games and X boxes ruling everyone’s lives, can change an entire wet evening to an enchanting fairy tale. One of the things I enjoy doing outside my class.


I was in another class yesterday, and a trainee came up to me to ask for an ‘autograph’. ‘Wow!’ I thought, ’What in the world did I do to have this boy, who I have met for the first time in my life today, to come up to me?’ I managed to force seriousness on my gradually widening ‘ear-to-ear-smiley’ face. I protested, and then gave in, wrote some very serious life’s quotation as a message, and wrote my name down. On the way back, I thought do I really deserve this? I have been here 4 months, I am learning more than I am giving out, and this boy thinks I have taught him something? Not modesty to be honest. Just a little awed by these experiences. How life can make you feel larger than life, as well as grounded at the same moment. What tremendous responsibility comes with this status that trainees give you.

Sounds like a dialogue straight out of the Spiderman movie. But then, fairy tales as well as little moments and experiences have their lessons attached with them.

Till such time that I can still find these moments hidden like precious gems, the ‘high’ of the rains shall not pass.

Happy Monsoons everyone!!!

new year wishes

hmmmm
a new year, is that what it is?
how do u define a new year? is it anyway different from a new month or a new week or a new day? perhaps not much different from a new moment too?
do u think we should be celebrating not only the new years but the new moments too?
.
.
.
in theory, yes it sounds so cool, so soul stirring, Zen like
the question is, can we?
nah! i don't think so and that is where these yearly celebrations come in.
a year in our calendar completes a of cycle. we humans are creatures of behavior, mind u. so we turn round and round in familiar notions of time and continuity and to-do-lists and happy new years.
but then, these are important.
these yearly celebrations.
.
.
.
they make us realize, that okay dude/dudette, whatever the heck you have been doing for the past 365 days, here is a time to at least look back and remember, the joys, sorrows, laughter, tears, trips, good times, bad times...whatever. we don't do this every moment, no problem; not every day or week or month, not that much of a problem, but this yearly celebration is a must.
so, for you, my advice/suggestion/request, please don't treat this mail as another piece of junk. just think about it.
.
.
.
make ur every breath count.
try to give your best to anything u r doing.
remember, that it is each single moment that will someday add up to a year and then eventually your life.
.
.
and if i could wish u a thing for the coming year, it would b this...

"On the next 31st of December, when you look back at the year gone by, may you find truth, peace and contentment in your heart."
.
.
.
amen

uski ankho me jugnu hain aur ye raat bohat lambi hai. . .kya ye roshni kafi hai muqqadar se ladne k liye.

The lines are from someone else’s poetry and well she does write well. Everyone should check her out. When the statement was followed by comments on facebook, she explained that it was written about a student of hers who was suffering from TB and was very likely to die, as she can’t afford the treatment. But yet, she comes to school every day, even though it is of no use to her.  Whatever one’s opinion might be, but ummeed pe duniya kayam hai. And why not?

Taken in Onkareshwar 2007, Narmada Ghats

For me, it is difficult to imagine a god that punishes little children with diseases and death and war and calamities ever so often. It is also difficult for me to believe in a god that would do this for revenge of our forefathers. And many a times, I have tried explaining it to myself why this happens. Well there is no reason at all. It is the larger picture that matters… the world will go on, with or without these children. It will grow, it will fall, the seasons will change, and it will come to an end in future, whether these children live or die today. Whatever the lifespan of a human or animal, they are there to maintain this balance in the universe.

So what if million of such insignificants are sacrificed in the process. But are they just sacrificed?

33,00,00,000 gods and more

as the jewel track goes

"so we pray to as many different gods, 
as there are flowers...
but who will save your soul"

and there are... many gods, one each for different religions, castes, societies. there are fights, murders, terrorism over these gods. after all that is disenchantment. from our gods, we form our own gods. we follow cults, or become atheists, we don't believe. Humans have a tendency to slight everything else that anyone else believes. religion can kill you, and it can make you live, in hope. 
people have their own way of bringing faith in their lives, and that’s what cultures and societies are made on. what brings them happiness is what god is to them. everything else exists cause we exist, we the living, breathing, talking beings. the mere fact that we live in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world. everything begins from that and ends there.

Trust

Is it really humane to trust and then distrust, and may be trust back again? Is it fair?

I've had my share of trust, distrust, and trust ... Is a moment of distrust following? Will I be able to distrust again? And later, will I be able to trust again?

Is it reasonable to kind of shift between the trust and distrust just based on the need of the hour? That would probably not be a valid statement. We go into a state of distrust when we need Him the most and He isn't there. Or it seems He isn't there. Why do we go back into a state of trust at some point in time again then? Do we need Him again? Do we forgive Him?

Is it fair on our part? Is it fair for Him? Can He forgive us for distrusting Him?

in the shadows, and in dostoyevsky

quote unquote
"there are some rather queer corners in Petersburg. the sun, which shines for all the rest of the city, never seems to peep into those places. it's another sun that does, a new one, specially ordered for these remote corners, and it throws a different, a peculiar light on everything. Life in those remote corners seems a world apart, in no way resembling the life that seethes about us; it is the sort of life that could be going on in some fabulous strange kingdom, and not on our planet at all, in these very, very serious times of ours. and this life is that peculiar mixture of something that is purely fantastic, ardently idealistic and also, at the same time(alas nastenka), bleaky humdrum and ordinary, not to say incredibly banal"


and then there was chandni chowk....
or was that before...????

in insanity, in manto, in offence

i have started reading manto "sadat hassan manto". im starting to think whether it was a good idea to read a realist novelist specially when im at this cross road of a dream and a love.

i have been trying to avoid 'serious' books since catch 22. hence avoided "catcher in the rye", but i guess it was just destiny that i bought this book out of all others on the station and started reading it. should i call it depressive, realism is depressive. i just came back to the same conclusion that i keep wobbling from time to time. that someone who is called "barking mad" is generally the one who sees most sense in things. we senseful people have a way of romanticizing ideas and philosophies, we make out things as they are now, or make as we would want them to be.
aur ummeed pe duniya kayam hai...

aur ummeedon se koi ummeed hai nahi mujhe
bahot hi luchha type ka thha...

  
currently listening to: marasim(i confess i listen to jagjit singh), fuzon, farida khannum, mehdi hassan

currently reading: sajad hassan manto (in hindi), greatest short stories
current mood : 

recently watched : dead poets soceity, golmal returns







ab tak dil-e-khushfeham ko hai tujh se ummeede..
yeh aakhri shamme bhi bujhane ke liye aa..............
ranjhish hi sahi

song of today....

She scratches a letter,

 into a wall made of stone

Maybe someday another child wont,

 feel as alone as she does

Its been two years, and counting,

 since they put her in this place

Shes been diagnosed by some stupid fuck,

 and mommy agrees, yeah...

She seems to be stronger,

 but what they want her to be is weak

She could play pretend,

 she could join the game, boy

She could be another clone...ooh...

Why go home? 

What you taught me...

put me here...

dont come visit...(mother...)

Sting me...

why go - Pearl Jam

that's the song of the day... on a guilt trip...still deciding what would be the sane way of dealing with it... how will i ever be able to deal with it...without hurting anyone... some times its strange how some songs are perfectly apt for one...

currently listening to: pearl jam... pink pop 92; alice in chains mtv unplugged; nirvana mtv unplugged

currently reading: catch 22, joseph heller
current mood : what the fuck, it sucks anyway

currently watching : pinkpop, last lear, cowboy bebop the movie, x men evolution 

gods and their lovers

its been weird two months of my life. from being someone who has just started believing in god to someone who has finally acknowledged she needs the presence, i have come a long way. or maybe not. i can't really decide.
those who have known me for a long time now would probably know that i used to really "believe" in God, his mercy and all that a few years ago.. used to go to the church regularly, more than my christian boyfriend used to go. used to go to the temples and sit their trying to gather every happy feeling inside me. kneel down the minute i felt low and needed anyone, pray before eating, all that... i cant say he was always there. but a certain peace came over. the kind of peace you have when you have faith on a certain someone. and you know this peace wont be over and then it all vanished. with a simple break of heart. not because i blamed god or anything. simply because i was so broken that it never occurred to me, that probably its all for the good. maybe it was, maybe not. i can never definitely say that god stood beside me or not... when i was begging him for getting sam back, whether god even wanted to say "no, i can't" there was no answer and i kind of felt left out. and thats what broke me. somewhere deep down i guess there is larger picture. in certain ways i feel its the smaller details which remain more important.

what got me back to god was love again. this time in a special way. he just prays to god. believes... and that makes me feel i need to believe too. i just need to keep my faith. i dont know what happened.. sitting in the hotel room alone, all i needed was a hug. and i felt maybe i can ask it from someone who i havent asked much from in the last few years. maybe i just need to call him back. the pain was just too huge to bear alone. in god i was trying to find my divine incarnate. the small piece of god that has rubbed off on the person i love so much. i dont know whether god came or not. but the pain eased off. and that was that. i just suddenly needed that presence again. i stil cant decide whether it guides me or not. i still cant decide whether god loves me at all or knows i exist or not. but i just need him. just like i need "A"... i dont know how much more is planned for me. whether i have had it easy till now and its going to be more difficult for me now... whether i can go through it or i will give up. but i still thank him. everytime i talk to my divine touch i thank... and beg he gets his smiles, he gets his pooh, atleast one prayer is answered... he doesnt need me anymore. and i am cassandra.. no one believes me. my premonitions are right. i know whats gonna happen even before they think that is possible.