OF CREATING PREJUDICES

I never knew that writing something could affect me that much. It’s 5:45 as of now on the 16th of July and that’s where I want to simply end it all. As someone said there is a huge difference between wanting to and having to. Well I know the have to want to thing. Knew it from a long time. Much before he would have even realized that the difference exists. I can’t take it anymore. Sick of ‘dealing with things’. Waiting for nothing… waiting for godot. And well no I’m not thinking of suicide… (I have a history of owning a “suicide ki dukan”) I’m just wishing to go away from the daily tantrums and freak out, have fun, dope, drink, become bohemian, break away

And yeah I needed to put this up somewhere… thanks to the recent success of “Jane tu, ya jane na”….*ing Imran khan and some other chick…. People now do know of the phrase “waiting for godot” may it be used well and not the way I use it… and I hope (that’s all brecket built on) not many people have to deal with godot though… it’s very very frustrating.


In the randomness of it, I was recently told by a dear friend of moi that I need to find someone who loves me instead. Laughable thought mister. Incase you dint realize, if I were to be with someone who loves me. I would be the object of envy for more women than you would even get to know in your lifetime… ha! Its called losing opportunities. Seems to be a regular feature in the soaps of my life. My life has become more boring than Ekta kapoor’s K brigade. Actually even more boring than Chandrakantha’s last few episodes… (On second thoughts maybe they were not that boring… never got round to watching either Ekta Kapoor or Chandrakantha)

O.K. I don't have to be this bugged. After all what am I upset about? It’s 16th of July, 2008 and I am in love with a great guy. Some great guys are in love with me. I have the best brother in the world… I am studying in a shit ass college and I want to leave, but despite that I hope to get a good job. What crap, I don't believe I’m so upset simply coz some idiot guy doesn’t reciprocate my feelings for him. He is stupid that he doesn’t realize whatever things he is supposed to realize… or maybe it’s just me. He does know but I’m not really the right “fall in love types” … that shouldn’t upset me either. I have always been like this. I never wanted to be the other category. Well seems like I gotta have a good self counseling session today it sucks to be weird and depressed day and night… doesn’t make any sense. Neither does it help anyone. It’s boring, it’s bugging, it hampers my way of living, it stops me from surprising myself, I am darn good and being in love shouldn’t stop me from being better. Hmmm… that feels good.