yeh nayan dare dare, yeh jaam bhare bhare
zara peene do!
kal ki kisko khabar, ek raat hoke nidar
mujhe jeene do!
and i am drunk on my own void....just drunk so much that i dont wanna be sober.
its amazing that sometimes u have no words for what ure feeling..all you know is that a void remains in you...and goes on and on
a lil empty right now and i cant think of anything..i dont feel like doing anything that i love..nor do i wanna read nor write...im trying to find a solution to m problems by giving it to others, actually my problems are not even earthly or practical..they are just a void..a pain i cant explain..
if not me, then who?if not now, then when?if not this then what?
i cant answer questions that my heart asks me and i feel stupid..u know i feel thats the biggest void one can feel- of being stupid
lately i dont know why i feel again down in dumps..i feel im forever pretening to be happy...i smile a fake smile ... i shout in glee and i cry in my soul..i call up friends so that i can prove im 'happy'...to myself....sad for what? of what? angry at what?
i strangle for breath and all i breathe in is smoke.its as if my life has given up on me....and yet i will go on smiling and laughing..i wil joyously celebrate my moronity... i will say everything will be all right in my life..
.but WHERE WILL I FIND MY HAPPINESS?