Saturday, December 10, 2005

of rebels and believers!

people tell me im rebellious....
rebellious in doing what?...not thinking the way they do!
not being superstitious about doing "favours" to god...
rebellious in not bowing down to people who only want to satisfy their ego!
loving a person so much that my world seems to center around him,
my life moves on and keeps me happy because of him...

its just that "life" that they dont see....life that means 'today'!
and it has a funny way of blowing up on you....giving you just what you want when you don't need it anymore....and not give you anything when you need it the most.
its like this railway track that never meets.....and yet meets only at this severe twist only for a second and to turn into another endless quest to reach each other...there is this one moment when you feel everything is right .you have learned what life is...and yet wait for that quest to start again.

i had heard somewhere that once that most important dream of your life is fulfilled the zeal of living on is forgotten.....and yet I find that zeal even if my biggest wish is fulfilled ...maybe because I have short term goals...
really short term ...as in "this very moment of living" being happy......being unhappy and yet to be at peace with knowing that it is a part of my life!

whenever i look back .....there is this part of me feeling sorry for myself for all the wrong decisions i took ....(and thats wat is the problem with Hinduism it places all the blame of "everything" with urself, we are not allowed to blame the devil or god for anything wrong!)
and yet i know those very decisions made me what i am today...and then they seem right all over again.the thing is im not afraid of taking the blame of my choices on myself. whether wrong or right...oh yes i also want the praises when they are right! I am not afraid of making choices in the first place. i know people love passing the blame.....I'm rebellious enough in not doing that.

am i still sounding rebellious that i dont feel sorry for myself...i dont think that everything wrong in my life is bad...and yet for the good.
everytime i have failed i learnt....not how to win,but how to live on, and how many people around me love me for what i am and not for what i
should be!

rebels are not who do not heed to advices but those who forget that choice lies in there own hands
i chose to be a "rebel" i chose to be "bad" i chose to be "outspoken"
and yet i love all those who label me .....

I AM WHO I AM.......like me or not
CHOICE AGAIN? ARE YOU SCARED OF THE CHOICE?

1 comment:

Richard Emblin said...

Hello shadows..

I'm not closing my blog, I 'm going on holidays. Thanks for your comment about by picture of shravanbengalola. I am interested to know more of why the face never came out.

Your frind.

Richard