Sometimes very odd things become more than a part of your life.
They become the very reason of existence and also the way of sustenance.
Every evening is a new way to look forward to the very reason I hate Tirupur, namely, ‘the boredom of the evenings’. I get back home at around 7, watch re-runs of friends, first on star world then on zee café, then watch some random shit, then naruto, then nothing in particular, this is the time when frustration starts to set in….for a person who has suffered of insomnia and depression for the larger part of her adulthood, it is certainly next to impossible to keep up the good spirits when you have nothing to do, nothing good to read, no pink floyd, and also obviously it doesn’t help that you are in love with a person who is “just your friend”. So, taking somebody’s advice, I decided to utilize this time in higher things (between the smoked cigarettes) -
- I have started believing in god again… well boredom does get you spiritual, no wonder so many retired people turn religious just when they have filled up the “paap ka ghada”, and have nothing worse to do in life.
- I have started writing a ‘lot of poetry’- 3 in a day, everyday since the last 2 weeks, and for the people who are curious enough to want to read it, NO, they are boring, pathetic, sometimes repetitive and most of all they are romantic, and I mean mush romantic ‘and’ shall not be posted
- I have finally bought a sketchbook (after 3 long years) and started sketching again. Nudes, profiles, charcoal, et al.
- I have started to daydream (or should that be called dusk dream to define the time); yeah I know that’s what most bored people do. Day dream… about amazing jobs, sexy bosses, the ideal guy (yeah he is in love with me in my plot. Some people will say, “yeah right fatso! And pigs will fly”…to them I say “hello, my daydream, goes my way!!!”), Delhi, north Indian food (sigh, greed sets in), good results in college, small house, big car, fame, enough money to give bank of America some competition… I’m running out of plots for these though. Any more ideas?
- I have been thinking, (when I don't daydream that is…) Yeah! Pigs do fly… I am bored and I need to exercise my brains. There is hardly room for physical exercise, though I could do with some, ‘if’ I want my fondest day dream to come remotely true… I think about everything. My life, crap, past, crap, present, crap, future, crap, universe, crap, planet earth, crap, planet earth ke dukh dard, crap, Johny Depp(not crap…. God), eternity, crap, love, crap, responsibilities, crap, and all the other shitty things in life (smelly thoughts), and how to invent (or design) something that may work to the effect of a room freshener to eliminate the shitty smell of boredom, (and ideas born out of it) lingering around…
Speaking of ‘lingering’, the efforts in lingerie (ling-a-ree) designing are coming off fine, actually great, I have come up with good designs (which I’m sure the jury won’t agree to). So I guess, I will quit thinking about that for now, daydreams ought not to induce fear or nervousness in you. They are a vision of a beautiful future that’s never to come.
I just realized this particular post has deviated way too much from what it was supposed to be. and i cant possibly go back to the original issue. So that write up is coming up next I think. Till then wish me luck that I may get a new plot today. If I start jotting them down, I may give, the Choudharys the Ghoshs, and the Taslimas, a run for there money…