tampered tamil

I love Tamil. And more importantly I love the Tamil movies… and yeah I have watched a couple of them. On TV and mostly on DVD fitted buses. They are a true class apart. And I shall make a complete fool of myself if I even begin to compare them with the more popular Hindi movies. Well it would have been a different experience had I been watching a Kamal Hassan movie (despite dashavatharam) but then the daily dose is of other movies which I don’t know the names of, unfortunately. The first in line was about a year and a half ago, enroute to Pondicherry with Sam. They are like the Hindi movies of the 80’s you can laugh and laugh and yet not get head or tail of the script….even if you understand the language… and here I am at disadvantage… I don't…

And I guess what makes it even more interesting are its item songs. Here is an example… The hero is intensely pondering over the biggest problem of his life… for instance how to save his mother’s life or something… and suddenly you shall see the short skirt clad heroine singing in the most seductive way possible…and the hero dancing to the song with the biggest possible smile#.

There are other amazing things that can happen in a Tamil movie… the self-assured, confident, modern heroine of the movie is wearing a sleeveless and a skirt to the mall (you may say that is not strange, she is the heroine, and has every right to wear whatever will put her on the posters, but that isn’t the issue… read on) and well as it happens with every good looking heroine there comes a pervert asshole side villain (who will be the crucial means of making the hero and heroine meet and later fall in love) and tries to (emphasis – “tries to”, the ultimate touching will happen only in the mis-timed item numbers…anyone can touch her then) well ‘take advantage’ (for the want of a better phrase) and its then, the hero (pondering, serious, generally not so rich*) arrives on his bike… he first beats the shit out of the prankster (who only tried to fill his shoes) and then when the thin lanky idiot scampers with/without the vow to take revenge its then the “haughty” chick gets the lecture that her father forgot to give her… he goes a step ahead and calls the sleeveless a “bra!!” and the skirt ..(Y god y did u have to get me into fashion design???)…”well the other thing”.
Well to me it would have been an insult… I would have probably said “thanks sir, for being the Good Samaritan and saving my “izzat” but then I have kinda grown up and I know what to wear.” Or even seen the truth in it…but certainly wouldn’t have gone as far as falling in love with this idiot… yeah in their defense some chicks do fall for patronizing bastards like this one. Well what is hilarious is the fact that in the next scene the same woman, who was this (possibly) short haired woman, is in a saree (Chennai silks?) and jewellery (Chennai silks again? Yeah they are the same company) that would have cost my dad his year’s salary, her long hair plaited and white flowers on them running down to the temple, coz she has seen sense (that can be the only possible reason).


There are other examples but it would be stupid and boring to cite them all. But what I would suggest is, that everyone must watch at least one of these hilarious Tamil movies or maybe just put on surya TV once in the morning and watch the item numbers…

To add I have fallen in love with Siddharth, (the guy in ‘rang de basanti’?? He even sings apart from being “rombha cute”) and love some of the music
(pogadhe – deepavali; akkam bakkam – giridam; venmeham pennaha uruvanatho – Yaradi Nee Mohini; Yaro manthile – Thenavattu; etc… ) Apart from Tamil versions of A. R. Rehman songs… some of which sound better in Tamil. Seriously…
I have been listening into the coimbatore stations just to hear this one song from boys…”ayyo love is such a pain, poda love is just a strain” damn Siddharth is cute…and he smokes Marlboros… and being single doesn’t help….

End of story…

# the songs are generally sung by a group of pervert looking idiots in lungi and equally desperate chicks in short blouses and sarees draped like dhotis, and obviously everybody in red lipstick

* the ‘rich’ guys are allowed, in other movies, to be a part of the romantic comedies. Be close shaved, date cute chicks, not wear lungi even in one scene, and dance in foreign locales and also be copied scene to scene in Hindi movies by vivek oberoi, or diya mirza respectively