lost in thought ....lost in time

i have never understood why i run away from eternity ......
i dont want any eternity
for anything......specially to live again after death.....
hmmm the waiting is very eternal.....for love, for good friendship, for death....
and that is the thought (filhaal)
(smirks) sarcasm has become a part of my life...... infact it is life itself.....i laugh at myself everyday and think oh why?
i have blocked out some essential parts of my life....and well i am waiting for it to some back and no, that doesnt include sam......
maybe now i wont want him back specially after i have seen his photographs with rachel.....he looks happy and frankly so does he....the love hasnt lessened or maybe it has but what the fuck?
who gives a damn .....and even if i do ...who gives a damn to me?
i was thinking yesterday which was the last prayer that god had heard and answered ....and i remembered that yeah god has answered ...in a straight forward "no"
hahaha
i prayed for this guy ....a good friend now...(will introduce him later )......but well...i did ....and when i told him i did he said "well kuch nahi hona hai( nothing is gonna happen).....thr is no chance....and well hmmmm i realised probably now that i prayed thr is really no chance......

so hence thr are a lot of quests that start alone ......that reminds me .......
vamsi : happy birthday
and well happy navaratras to those who are believers.......