this one for u

I hate it when people act biased...specially the way they say "these indians"..... " those americans".... "that german".. "you girls"...."we men"... so on and so forth.....where did the individual go in all these?
but there is saying that goes.....

"doctor heal thyself"...

and then i looked into myself and asked when was the last time i biased and generalised people..."oh! right in the morning"

I tried to just press down the good aparna and say "ha!" while waiting for that inner voice to 'spoof!'(like it goes in the cartoons) what the hell! but i realised this real aparna is right...i have always kind of been against girls...i specify 'girls'..... with a lot of money...not that i was jealous or something...but generally...i never asked myself why?

i guess some questions i must ask myself and answer them before i fall into their category of being a hypocrite.........sweetheart (they correct me) the word is... "diplomat"

to keep my promise....

now i am back in my optimistic world where everything that goes wrong is also for a right reason.the reason is me.
You know whenever i think of whatever problems i'm facing i always think that may be my life is like this coz god wants my future more beautiful than the others...and now i am thinking is life a competition. to be betterthan others ...is it all that is there to life....having more money than others...or having a better spouse than others...or having a more beautiful house than others...wearing better clothes than others...being more successful than others
i had neverthought of the competition conciously,,,but i was competing
....always
i wish that my competition, if at all, was with myself...my own soul...for betterment of my soul,
not to lie,not to be covetious, not to hate, not to be rude, not to ask for more than i have,to compete in politeness,

cant i just compete for that,with myown self
its not that iwant to prove myself.but just to look at myself everynight and say "aparna,today you learnt this"
i used to do this ,,,but now,i havechanged(i would have said that the world taught me that i have to change but....) i allowed the world to affect me so much that i changed.is that fair?

dreary dreary day

I study in a fashion design college, specializing in fashion (trying to rather). we have about 4 submissions tomorrow and I can't seem to tell myself to go off to sleep.man this is crazy...
all the other classmates of mine are going as crazy like me...if not more they are such workaholics.....are only workaholics successful.....ultimately why do we work?
to get a beautiful life
then why not enjoy the life and make it beautyfull
....competetion again?
maybe talk about this in the next blog...
for now....its good morning myself! wake up....its a sunny day out thr
and even is it's just the moon trying to bluff you
y not get bluffed and work ....sleep may come later
enjoy....the work

just started today

the purpose of this blog was different wen i was signing up but i guess i will use this blog to know a bit more about others than myself....
so maybe will just put down my observations
....rather i shall say i will try to ....
started by reading other blogposts...put in some comments too
but felt a little small today