not promised

"The texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him." 

-Joseph Heller in Catch 22

this is not one of the two posts promised previously.

on a completely different note...
there are several tragedies in life. the loss of love, money, support, friendship, respect, loss of a loved one... so much that one may forget what was happiness like in the first place. and then happiness arrives in the form of insanity... 

how does one define insanity... 

1. Isn't it insane to keep pretending? 
2. Is it sane to not say out things that you feel, out loud?....

both answers "NO"

apparently to be able to lie mostly to yourself makes you sane in this world full of dramatisation

"all the world is a stage" and we make puppets out of our selves.

'that the only way to survive such an insane system is to be insane oneself,'

- Joseph Heller, catch 22 (again)

out of the Ten Commandments, ONE, the "thou shalt not bear false witnesses against thy neighbor" but thou canst do thus to thy own self,  was for sure, written very carefully. planned out to every last detail.

out of all the pains that one can suffer, which is the maximum that one can bear? which is the one thing that makes it more bearable...

i had always believed that if you were to find a person who you loved as much as he/she loved you, all the other pains become more bearable... it worked for me. i withstood every bullshit of my life through sam

i now have been told, "i see things only unidimensionally" and "the one that you love, who gives you the maximum happiness, also gives you the most pain" 

my faith in love was tainted... now i have started believing my love for a person was the only one i can look up to. and since it is never going to come back.in the form of onyx or otherwise... maybe i can just live on with my lifetime in those 3 and a half years. 

some way or the other my snape, and paul need to understand that im not to be loved not coz i dont deserve it... but they deserve more than me...

currently listening to: poets of the fall, indus creed, julio eglisias, poems from the movie 

DUS KAHANIA (Gulzar sahab ki likhi hui poems hai bhai)

currently reading: catch 22, joseph heller

currently watching : cowboy bebop (the movie), Saturday night live (with john bon jovi)