mission pendulum

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here;

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control,
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul;

I want you to notice,
When I'm not around,
You're so fuckin' special,
I wish I was special....

lyrics from the track: creep
performed by: Radiohead

in strange way I'm very much in the 'creep' mode... or what i have recently named the pendulum mission... named after the severe mood swings that are being faced. its a month of timely depressions. they come every April. all the hallucinations, irritations... in bones' words "loser oriented talks". don't care how they really bug the shit out of me.... i need to take a break in april... the supposed most crucial month of the year... also it's funny that the birthday is at the end of this month. maybe the body is in the automatic cycle of the mourning for the birth of the April depressionist. i watched the sweeney todd completely today. hmmm.... well i thought it would be darker... i had seen it in parts and well its amazing... amazingly made... tim burton at his best yet again... and it just makes me fall for johnny depp even more. couldnt believe he did all the songs himself. hmmmm sigh... can thr ever be another depp....??
i end here, with a foot note... " april is the cruelest month"
and nothing ever happens...godot never arrives