the semi automatics

there are times in life that people put u on a platform where they see u in the way they want to see u.... so u make a concious effort to live upto that 'expectation'. and after a while it is no longer an effort... it comes naturally...rather u put urself in a mode that is sort of not to ur soul... it tears u apart but then again it has already become a habit....
a semi automatic of ur life....u see those people and a hug comes in place....not coz u want to hug them..but just that u do anyway.. u kiss them on thr left cheek and right... say " how are u today sweetheart?" sharing a cup of coffee and just searching for new material for the gossip u will share cos there is someone else who will be expecting you to do that...you do ..inspite of urself... coz thats what is expected...coz thats what will make u in there eyes..."good friend"
the orkut profile read "living pretence"
the pretence is not living anymore... it is dead and in place of it comes another thing called weariness. we become weary of our own selves..... trusting no one.....coz u know every face out there is the bloody same.....doing the same thing to you as you are doing to them....every morning u just push a button.....
happy new year to all the people who know that it is new year....may a new begining enlighten us...


p.s. is this what sleeplessness does to you???