walk along the jungle

yesterday went for a long walk with rush, gom and qleen....in the jungle.....kinda beautiful but cant match the beauty of the mountain jungles....saw a lot of peacocks.....beautiful in those bushes....
suddenly rushabh goes on to say something that i wud call the moment of the day..."i found out a reason why i dont wanna die" after a long pause he just asks outta the blue "have u seen " lord of the rings?"

unfortunately, i have not...inspite of the great reviews i have heard about it!

and i said so...so he said he has and he saw the 3rd part before the 2nd part..
and 3rd by par is much better than the 2nd but he dint enjoy it...coz he saw it before....ahem....so therefore he doesn't want to suicide coz if he suicides he wud see the latter part of his life first and hence not enjoy it and know it to the fullest...and also miss out on another part that he would probably wish later that he shud have seen before trying out the 3rd...ahem ahem..
somewhat like that.. i think....

so hence let's make sure we see all the parts of our lives in the very same order.....WELL that also means keeping the innocence and maturity in the very same order.....some other time...ok...hey by the way i posted something new ..(.to those who read regularly)so scroll down

nameless faceless bitches

http://www.peenuts.blogspot.com
http://www.delhidreams.blogspot.com
http://richardemblin.blogspot.com/
http://www.sreeti1.krify.com
http://www.loyalgurl.krify.com
this is i guess the only way i can say that i like these blogs...and regularly read thm. pl all those who blog read them too.....

on a different note
things are quite good with me the last few days.....but doing a lot of thinking...'what?' is a BIG question!
but anyway,
what makes me wonder is the way people hurt you and still not feel guilty abt it.....some people tell me i cannot say a 'no' and i should learn...welll i have learnt to say a 'no' , and sometimes annoyingly so.... and when i cant i just avoid that situation all together....it results in even more hurt than other times....
but then i excuse myself saying that i had a reason....but u know thr in my head ive continued the argument subconciously saying...n excuse is good enough to hurt someone else.....

hmmm guilt thats what u call the argument...
.but yet as i was saying people do have habit of hurting people conciously and to them its natural.they are generally with a lot of money.generally is the word..it becomes a sadist fun for them...i started feeling this since in school though not as conciously as now....the gals mostly....i felt they had all the time in the world to do that....they would just hurt you and leave(add a scoffy expression to thr faces) not that i have anything against them now...but stilll i cant get over the humiliation i felt then...
also a feeling of pity and awe that i have now as to how they have managed to keep up the fake for so long....i mean thr lifestyle was fake...nobody can be mean right from birth....nobody is born mean....but how can u be so fake for so long..at such a small age...? and they still are...now perhaps, they have reasons- such as- getting the attention....being the pets....having gr8 good looking guys as bfs....well thr own reasons perhaps.
they are always putting up an act....well whatever...perhaps the act of being a BITCH has its own pros and cons...i wont understand them...perhaps for my own good

empty buildings....a lone world

what crazy things i keep thinking.u know as if m mind has become a non-stop machine..it just doesnt wanna stop. I am always on a "what if? " mode. always looking at things and thinking....

and right opposite my building i see on the balcony a dried plant in a pot...it must have been fresh once ...with green leaves on itself.....maybe even a flower. and all that remains is a twig....a dried unhappy looking

and then the thoughts go to the empty flat....how lonel and depressed it must feel for not being able serve its purpose ...of being a home from being just 4 and more walls....

its a real lonely to be something else than what you really are...leena tells me she just wants to end a 9 yr old relationship coz she is tired of being what her guy wants her to be always....well what abt the flat it also wants to be a 'home' isnt it? it just doesnt want to remain a silly old flat....everything needs to grow.....to grow into something better

that reminds me of love....love makes u grow...better or not i dont knw.love has that thing when u wanna rise to something else..and yet being that something else does not hurt if u dont want it to..when u start thinking love is unfair it becmes unfair....when u think it just expects and the expectation is something u wanna fulfil u do that....

non stop chatterbox....what crap!

anyway

im in love....

"life is.... "

"Life is just one damned thing after another" - Elbert Hubbard

I was looking for some piks online and it just happened that i came across this quote,....life....is ...

so many people have quoted as to what life is and what it isnt..and true it maybe for each one of them...and since they were famous their quotes became too...and frankly why shudnt they be..they achieved what many others havent..love of the masses..ok ok not always love..but definitel u wud agree "attention" they have got....

have you ever thought of quoting ur life in one funny sentence.."life is so and so AND such and such"..whatever i say.." life is all about whatever....each person has a unique life....a unique quote...i say "life is just a gift...unwraps by itself...surprises and dissapoints but yes it stil leaves u curious....and by the by we never get to know what that gift actually looks like....coz by the time we are about to open the final wrap we realise we dont need it anymore...."

what say? impressive to me

may be when im famous someone will quote me saying "oh! what a great woman she was?u know she once said..'such and such and such'..."

what bliss to fanatasize!lols

Who Will Save Your Soul

life is funny....really funny .....it takes these wierd twists which i can never undersatnd.....

i mean whenever u start feeling secure and good abt life it shakes u up and says 'hello, what are u feeling happy abt?'
and it keeps testing u...or maybe thats what we feel it is ...a test!...
who knows whats coming in life?
who knows who is god and who is not?..after all who wrote these books that define god?....how do we know who is right and who is wrong?...who are we to decide at all?
.and thats y i cant leave it upto the gods decided by men.....god is thr no arguments.....but god is god...thaz it...nothing else nothing more nothing less
my life that tests me now will be balanced later ...and that too depends on completely 'me'!
i wanna now have hold on it...im tired of leaving it to others....
the funny thing is that the very same ppl who made fun of my desperate situations in life are in the very same situation now and i feel bad for them ....it makes me feel that life is veangeful...it shudnt be...i dont like the idea of vengeance..i find it sadistic.....wonder if anything is wrong with me(acc to the world)

of drunkenness and carelessness

i hav a friend , married yet, quite young at heart...a romantic to the core and the quite the kinds i love being 'friends' with had a new year bash at a family friends place inspite of all the work i had at the backlog of my life(it always does run on backlog) hmm back to my friend.....well she has (rather now had) a dream....to get drunk and do everything without the limits.....hmm ...it turned true on new years quite unexpectedly(for me at least)...and i know i wanted to be with her...though i wouldn't have been much help...but anyway,it turned out that it was good i was there...

coz i knew mom wouldn't take it as nicely as anybody else(she had a wrinkled nose and a stared a pure "mom" stare at my friend...as if she was a naughty teenager who had gone astray)rest of them were cool on the outside at least. who blew up was her husband....

started shouting like a pure MCP and well feminist that i am, I couldn't take it...thank god for dad and the fact that the man is much older to me that i dint shout and scream at him(i felt like rather smacking him at that point)..rather i just looked at him...{oscar winning performance by Aparna ...clap clap clap}...just looked as if im looking at him out of courtesy...like one does when the other one is talking......

and here comes the climax...tada!..he shouts at me!....because i was looking at him!.....(the reason?..i call it 'guilt') he screamed at ME for 'looking' at him...crime? perhaps i dint deserve the oscar after all..maybe all that hatred just poured into my eyes....as if my eyes were daggers and i was abt to murder him.....i wish they really were... maybe not murder just a bit of a stab here and there
i came back home in a bad mood...brooding over how that man will treat m friend the next day...thinking whether her son would take this all well(he did after all that...I'm proud of him), whether she will be well,and of course when will i finally start working....lazy ass i am.
worked....today and a lot...


and of course on the 2nd of january ......i have lost my cell fone 'waaa'....dad will kill me...mom has not yet tried...(thank god)..maybe they will murder me together....I'm now thinking of a good bye speech...
....""thank you all who love me and those more who hate me """...

maybe this how i will start
now i suffer my own carelessness and the thieves of m college....im changing professions very soon..theft is likely to be the next best thing i believe